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One time, a new friend came home with me after elementary school, where I proceeded to give her a complete, QVC-style rundown on our new vacuum. It was translucent blue, it rolled close to the ground like the vacuum from Teletubbies, and when you pushed a lever, the cord was automatically sucked into its depth for storage. My new friend (Carrie was her name) didn’t come over again after that, which I’m fairly certain had something to do with the vacuum showcase. Whatever. Friendships wane, but enthusiasm for vacuums is eternal. And the cool thing about vacuum enthusiasm in adulthood is that other adults share in it—even greet vacuum buzzwords like “cordless” and “stick” and “tornado suction” with rapturous attention. We’ve all grown into nerds like that. So, nerds, listen to this. Here is a stick vacuum that’s cordless with gale-force suction, and quite a few features that make it, like, fun to use: Tineco’s Pure One S11.
It’s a powerful vacuum that works incredibly well.
Besides that blue vacuum, I also grew up among those hulking vacuum monsters with the bags that billowed off them like hot air balloons at the first lick of heat. So I was somewhat dubious of Tineco’s claim to be lightweight, quiet, maneuverable, and efficient. But it is all of those things. With the charging mount drilled into my kitchen wall, I can grab it and swing it around a room and have it back to charging in a minute. The motor will run up to 40 minutes on a charge. The dirt catch, when full, simply requires I hold it over a trash can and unlatch the bucket, clean and easy. It doesn’t blast the eardrums with roars. And between the main brush and many attachments—I use the crevice tool and mini power brush most often—it’ll remove any room of any filth.
There are loads of less-obvious features that make it even better.
Before were all the basics; kinda boring, but obviously essential for a vacuum. Here, I’m just going to run through the neat extras that are part of the Pure One S11, since these are what make it pretty cool. For one, this is a smart vacuum, which means it senses how much dirt is on the ground and amps up the motor to tackle especially disgusting shit. Meaning, no re-vacuuming the same spot 30 times in vain. And because it’s smart, of course it’s got a companion app, where you can get notifications about how its functioning, what might be blocking airflow, and how much dust you’ve cleaned up (this is a gross but satisfying statistic). While you’re using it, two features that’ll make a world of difference are the main brush head’s headlights—like a car illuminating the road ahead, except that road is the denlike corner behind the nightstand—and the trigger lock, which eases off the stress on your index finger for longer runs. You wouldn’t think to care about these quirks, until you’ve got a vacuum that has them.
It is, somehow, a joyful vacuuming experience.
I just didn’t have a vacuum for a while. That sucked. I did a lot of sweeping. Then I had a straightforward corded Shark model, which did the job but was a pain in the ass to use, since the outlets in my apartment are scattered like easter eggs in a Marvel movie. Besides, it was ungainly, crashing against doorstops and bookshelves with the bravado of a bumper car. I begrudgingly pulled it out of the closet once every two months to cut through the Saharan dust mounds drifting across my bedroom.
Now, with this Tineco vacuum, I’ll take a pass at vacuuming almost unnecessarily often. I’ll do it joyfully. Maybe that’s the quarantine talking. The corners behind the couch are getting more scrutiny, the kitchen floor is getting more food dropped on it, and the puppy who joined us over the summer is a mess, permanently. But I’m betting this is the only quarantine hobby of mine that’ll actually stick.
Photography by Allie Holloway. Prop styling by Claire Tedaldi for Halley Resources.
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